yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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