remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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