So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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