im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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