I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
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Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
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i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
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