i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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