i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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