He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
