Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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