this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
