xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize