You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
