Small penises have feelings too.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Success! We fucked roommates!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
