Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize