So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We just shotgunned beers for America
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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