dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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