I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
