i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
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