I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
