I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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