i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Oh god it's open bar.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize