Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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