I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
