I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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