I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
