im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
