I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
