Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
