How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
