You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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