found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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