I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
