He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
