we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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