if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
