Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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