We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
