So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
