She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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