Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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