so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
