Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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