census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
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