I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
