I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
false alarm. still invincible.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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