oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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