If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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