so explain again why im purple
no
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize