talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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