i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
