he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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