Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
