Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
