I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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