dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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