girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
