if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
