Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
