I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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