I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
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