I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
